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Love is a really scary thing. As I’ve gotten older I have become less attracted to the idea; I’ve become fearful of it. The idea that I would be in love with someone so much that I’d willingly give up career opportunities, travel plans, and my dreams just to be with them is terrifying. Everyone says that you have to make sacrifices when you’re with someone, but I don’t want to. Why is giving up several things a prerequisite to being in a committed relationship? As I’ve contemplated this, I have thought about how people, especially women, have this idea that they have to sacrifice part of themselves (dreams, etc.) to be with someone. I feel like this ideology is why so many people wake up in their 40’s, 50’s, etc. and feel regret — unhappy with their lives and the relationships that they are in. I personally think that if someone truly “loves” you, all of you, then you wouldn’t have to give up so many things to be with them. Maybe it’s because I’m young and admittedly a little naive, but I think it’s okay to be selfish. I think it’s okay to want to continue pursuing the dreams that you had prior to the relationship. I know that if I were to get married down the line, by some miracle, I would want it to last. I feel like I and a lot of people out there won’t be happy giving up their dreams (which are essentially a part of you) to be with someone. Maybe you won’t regret it right away, but eventually regret will creep up on you and by then it will be too late. So, I think it’s important that people realize that just because you’re in love with someone it doesn’t mean that you should be with them; love isn’t enough. Find someone who accepts and supports you for who you are — insecurities, passions, dreams, and all. Don’t let your fear of being alone result in you committing to someone who prevents you from being you.

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