It feels like everyone is moving on with their lives without me. I feel like everyone is leaving me behind and they couldn’t care less. I feel alone.
I have this weird feeling in my stomach that something big is about to happen, something life changing. Maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part, that something great will occur soon, but it feels real to me. I feel different, I feel ready to take on something that could be potentially challenging, but also life altering in a positive way. I don’t know if I’m making any sense, but I’m just filled with a sense of anticipation. I’m ready, bring it on.
I’m so bored, I want to scream. Being an unemployed college graduate is a lot harder than it looks. At first, it was nice, but now I feel like I’m not even living anymore. I feel like a zombie. I do the same thing everyday– wake up past noon, eat in bed, apply to jobs, go on Tumblr, and watch a ridiculous amount of TV. I’m over it. With each passing day, the belief that my hopes and dreams will become a reality diminishes. I see the people around me doing amazing things, and it’s hard not to be jealous of them when I feel so stuck. I crave adventure. I crave change. Unfortunately, adventures cost money and I don’t have any. I feel an enormous amount of pressure from people (but mostly myself) to not only be extraordinary, but live an extraordinary life. I fear being boring. Everyone says, with such confidence, that things will “get better”, but what do I do if they don’t?
I’m a 21 year old recent college graduate from California trying to find my place in the world. I was inspired to start this blog by a friend. I’ve always been intimidated by the prospect of having my own blog, but I’ve decided to not let a little thing like fear get in my way. I used to love writing, but put it on the back burner for the past couple of years due to life getting in the way. I hope that by having this blog, by having a outlet to write, I will begin to find clarity or at least have a really cool hobby. Anyway, I’m not sure what the “theme” of this blog will be, but most likely it will consist of me sharing the details of my life, my aspirations, and my insecurities.